Presents.

Christmas is fast approaching with only 28 days until the big man comes down your chimney (pause). The high streets are packed with people buying gifts for loved ones and websites are seeing higher 'foot fall'. Pounding the pavements of Oxford Street yesterday afternoon with the same idea as everyone else, to 'start early this year', I started to wonder what Christmas means to different people ... different nationalities, different family backgrounds, different religions ... After all it is an international festivity, whether you like it or not.

Its one of those things are make you feel guilty. It's the 'oh but it's Christmas' excuse. It's acceptable to binge drink, binge eat, and binge spend and announce 'oh but it's Christmas' after. It's the only time of year that people crack open a bottle of champagne and 9am and start knocking it back - and this is acceptable. I am not saying I don't do that myself, but given the choice I would do that on any other day. This is proceeded by the 'I bought you; you bought me' present giving. 

Now this is the part that really frustrates me about Christmas to the point that now I only buy for family and the odd friend. Because what is the point. So, this is how it works ... You ask said person what they want for Christmas, they say 'oh I'm not fussed, you don't have to get me something', knowing full well that they are going to buy you something so if you don't buy them something you look like a right twat. You go out of your way searching high and low for the perfect gift, that you hope they will like, with an ounce of uniqueness to it (note: A FCUK toiletry set in Boot's 3 for 2 offer is not personal nor acceptable and is likely to be thrown in the bin in the fear of getting a skin rash from the cheap shower gel). The gift is then lovingly wrapped, with a bow and a card (all last minute) to them be put under the tree ready for the 'exchange'. Now, by all means correct me if you believe I am wrong but where is the point in the whole situation when you could just go out and buy yourself something. Why waste the tree on the wrapping paper or the stress and strain of Oxford Street on a Saturday afternoon. FYI, all I bought on my trip there was stuff for myself. 

What this boils down to is that the Jewish have got it totally right. Christmas is cancelled.

Destiny's Child - 8 days of Christmas (supposedly feeling like Christmas because their men buy them a present of each day of Christmas).

Naughty but nice ...

Shocking adverts ... or enticing adverts?

A controversial lingerie ad, featuring model Karen Elson lurring male models dripping in dimaond necklaces with reddened bums (make up, of course, by Pat McGrath). 

“Underwear in itself is so sexy; we wanted to push the idea, to really make it shocking.” says Enninful - Sod the underwear, we like it like this

 

Photographed by Steven Meisel

Styled by Edward Enninful

Pitt to quit

Brad Pitt, 47 year old American actor and film producer. Pitt has received two Academy Award nominations and four Golden Globe Award nominations, winning one. He is described as one of the world's most attractive men ... blah blah blah. He's nothing special and dropping quickly off the radar. Which he has timely decided to agree to himself by 'quitting' acting.

He has openly admitted that his days in-front of the camera are numbered, so he's decided to try his luck behind the scenes. Taking himself off the screens and choosing to pursue a new venture in directing. It confuses me how an actor can go from being told what to do and taking direction to being the one directing - especially if they aren't that great at acting themselves. 

Pitt made this revelation on Australian TV show, 60 minute. When asked how long he planned on continuing acting he said "3 years" and went onto joke that he was unsure what he would do afterwards by coming out with, 'Hell if I know!'. Continuing to confuse matters by saying, 'I've really enjoyed the producerial [sic] side and getting stories to the plate that may have had a harder time otherwise.' What is this slur!

Alternatively Pitt, you could be a stay at home dad ... After all you can't let Angelina do all the work. There 7 strong brood, plus themselves, bring the family to a healthy 9 people. This is big by today's standards. Three being biologically theirs and the other 4 are the gains other the overseas adoption spree that A-Listers jumped on a few years back.

So I reckon in a few years time Pitt will open a few charity shacks for the children of the far east, produce a film to be hyped by the media and crash shamefully and then probably have a 2nd mid-life crisis (the first being chucking Jennifer) ... This is most likely end in him chucking Angelina and pursuing a relationship with a younger, prettier, more in-the-lime-light alternative to revive his soon to be dead career.

For the mean time Brad just put your feet up, have a rest and leave Angelina to bring home the bacon ... Lets face it, she's better at the job than you.

In God we trust ... [or do we?]

Now this may seem a little deep or meaningful however lets think of it like fashion to lighten the mood ... Fashion being a religion.

To begin with I feel it is important to address the meaning of the word 'religion'. Although not the most reliable source for definitions, I have chosen to take a quote from Wikipedia - Wikipedia, like religions, is a collection of views or opinions on a subject (rather fitting then really).

"Religion is a collection of cultural systems, belief systems, and worldviews that establishes symbols that relate humanity to spiritualityand, sometimes, to moral values. Many religions have narratives, symbols, traditions and sacred histories that are intended to givemeaning to life or to explain the origin of life or the universe. They tend to derive morality, ethics, religious laws or a preferred lifestylefrom their ideas about the cosmos and human nature."

On Sunday I went to a family Christening of a new member into the extended family. This experience has left my already negative view on the 'faith' even more down trodden. I have always been cynical and bitter of religion from an early age. I am do not like to be told what to do. Start with being Christened. I was Christened shortly after birth. I strongly disagreed with this 'dunking' of a child under water that has been 'blessed' or 'offered'. My dismay at the blessing is predominately down to the fact that the child being sacrificed into another extended family (God's family) is that is it not only against their will as they are too young to object, but it is also irreversible. In the literal sense, and if you grow up to not believe or follow a religion, it has no effect. However if you are doubtful and fearful the Christening will play on your guilty emotions for the rest of your life [or until sense kicks in].

So, while sitting there in the grandeur of the state paid church, combined with guilt tripping begging as funding, I wondered to myself how thousands of years of tradition, with no true confirmation that what people were putting their undivided attention and trust in, managed to continue.

Then suddenly is dawned on me. The guilt and fear alone wasn't enough, but the continued guilt and fear driven by parents, grandparents and members of the congregation. The driving force of guilt and fear in the unknown is what keeps this highly lucrative 'venture' moving forward.

Tomorrow's religion will never die.